My Day Wearing the Hijab: Guest Post from Laura

The following post originally appeared on Laughin Lalo.

As a devout, practicing Mormon the idea of wearing a hijab is somewhat strange. I originally heard of the idea on FMH ( a Mormon feminist group on facebook) and I instantly was hooked on the idea.

Muslim women challenged non-muslim women to try wearing a hijab for one day and then talk about our experience. My thoughts were "are we allowed" and "what will people think" many of you know me quite well and I hate to admit it, but I really do care what other people think of me! But I signed up and took pictures and really lived the day and was much more observant of those around me. It took a lot of courage for me to do this, I was scared, excited, and a little apprehensive of the reaction in my mostly mormon community here in Utah.

First what is a hijab?! It's the scarf muslim women wear for modesty, there are literally hundreds of styles and fabrics to wear. They are absolutely GORGEOUS!

Muslim women aren't forced to wear the hijab, it's a choice they make for Allah (God) to be modest for him. In some ways it's very similar to the garments we mormons wear for modesty and a reminder of our love for God.

I looked up tons of videos on how to tie a hijab, and what to wear. I didn't have a bonnet so I fashioned one out of black fabric, and then tied my hijab!

I was very modest,  I made sure to wear a long sleeve black lose shirt with jeans.

Then I took off to school!

The day was interesting, I got a lot of stares from men mostly in trucks or passing in traffic. When I arrived at school I took a very awkward elevator ride with a gentleman who literally stared at me the whole time. More like in awe that he is actually seeing a muslim woman (but he wasn't haha) I went to class and some people were a little startled (my class is of 250 people so I definitely could blend) but people sat next to me and didn't shy away. After class I walked down the hallway to the elevator and some people walked away from me and some walked too close almost brushing me while there was tons of room on either side (I assume they were proving to me they weren't scared or whatever). People in shops were wonderful, they were nice and I didn't feel discriminated.

I felt completely empowered by my appearance, I felt feminine and beautiful completely covered up and I felt like I was respecting myself. It was a really beautiful experience and I'm glad I stepped out of my comfort zone and participated. I understand so much more about the muslim religion and the women who wear the hijab.

As a woman who wears modest clothing in general (for my religion) I don't think I'll ever second guess my modesty again because of the beauty I felt with in myself that day. I won't feel like I have to spill out of my blouse in order to get attention from anyone including my husband.

As for my husband Andrew, he was all for it! He loved that I was getting out of my comfort zone and educating myself. I appreciate his support, I'm a lucky gal!

Laura is a student, artist and blogger who lives in Utah with her husband and their two cats. She is studying photography, and in her spare time likes to garden, watch British shows, and seek out new tasty restaurants. To read more of her work (art, photography, and writing), check out her blog, Laughin Lalo.

Call for Reviews for Bitch Flicks

From our friends at Bitch Flicks:

February 1st marked the start of Black History Month. So for this month's theme week, we thought it was the perfect time to highlight all women of color in film and television.

Here at Bitch Flicks, we often discuss the lack of female filmmakers and the need for women-centric films. We need more women directors, writers and protagonists. But we desperately need more women of color in front of and behind the camera. When studies on women in media are conducted, the numbers typically don't take into account the number of women of color. Out of the top 250 grossing films, women as a whole only comprise 9% of directors and 15% of writers and 33% of speaking roles. On TV in 2011, 15% of writers were women, women directed only 11% of TV episodes whilewomen of color only directed 1% (yep, you read that right...1%). Abysmal.

Sadly, film and TV often relegates women of color to racist and sexist tropes. Black women often appear on-screen as maids, hyper-sexual or the "sassy" sidekick. Latina women also appear as maids and with "fiery" tempers. It's time to end these stereotypes. While women filmmakers don’t merely depict female protagonists, when more women are behind the camera, we tend to see more women in front of the camera. When we have more women of color as writers, directors and producers, we'll also see more diverse representations of women of color on-screen.

When people talk about the need for more women in media, they often mean white women. When we talk about the need for more women on-screen and more women-created media, we shouldn't be satisfied with white female leads and white female directors. We must see women of all races, created by women of all races.

So we want to focus on celebrating as well as critiquing the role of women of color in film and TV. Here are some suggested films and television series -- but feel free to suggest your own!

The Color Purple 
Dreamgirls
Scandal
Middle of Nowhere 
Frida 
Pariah
What's Love Got to Do with It? 
The Cosby Show
Precious
Lady Sings the Blues
Daughters of the Dust
Selena 
Night Catches Us
Grey's Anatomy
Real Women Have Curves 
Eve's Bayou
Mi Vida Loca
Do the Right Thing 
Columbiana 
Diary of a Mad Black Woman 
Bend It Like Beckham 
Good Times
Crash
Sparkle 
Watermelon Woman
American Family
A Different World 
I Like It Like That 
The Help 
For Colored Girls 
Jumping the Broom 
Soul Food 
Maria Full of Grace
Girlfriends
Half and Half
Love and Basketball
Brown Sugar 
Ugly Betty
The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl 
The Wire 

As a reminder, these are a few basic guidelines for guest writers on our site:

--We like most of our pieces to be 1,000 - 2,000 words, preferably with some images and links.

--Please send your piece in the text of an email, including links to all images, no later than Friday, February, 22nd.

--Include a 2-3 sentence bio for placement at the end of your piece.

Email us at btchflcks(at)gmail(dot)com if you'd like to contribute a review. We accept original pieces or cross-posts. We look forward to reading your submissions!

Links of Note

Four and a half weeks into the new year, we've clearly skipped over some major happenings. Rather than trying to catch up on political buffoonery and Hillary Clinton's awesomeness, I'm going to share a list of some interesting links.

First up, Slate has an article about Google's maternity leave and how the company increased it to 5 months paid leave, a measure that saved costs on training new employees by encouraging mothers to stay on at the company, while also increasing employee happiness. As the article points out, not all employers face the types of decisions Google does, so their policies won't work in every case. But it stands to reason that if increased maternity leave is helping out one business, there are probably similar businesses that would also see less turnover and increased job satisfaction in female employees if they followed suit.

Next up a fun article about the history of high heels - and why men originated and then abandoned the fashion. That's right, men wore high heels long before women did. This is why feminists insist on distinguishing between biological sex and the cultural expectations that become associated with sex (a category which feminists call 'gender'). Because even basic ideas like lace, tights, and high heels looking feminine are based in culture, not biology.

Also, the UK apparently has a bill on same-sex marriage that will be voted on in February.

This week we celebrated Martin Luther King Jr. Day, which coincided with President Obama's inauguration. Racialicious has some interesting commentary on the inauguration, as well as a response to the efforts of some gun lobbyists to claim MLK as posthumous support for their cause. 

And, if you're interested in Mormon discussions, Margaret Young wrote an article on Patheos that discusses Joseph Smith's stance on slavery and race, as well as how Brigham Young's very different stand took things in the church down a different path. Those unfamiliar with Mormon history often think that Brigham Young was the founding prophet, since he led the early church to Utah. In reality, the founding (restoring, we would say at church) prophet was Joseph Smith. While Smith's stance on slavery changed throughout his lifetime, his views appear to have evolved to a very progressive stance by the time he was martyred.

James Goldberg has also written some recent posts attempting to examine gender in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (official name for the Mormon Church) in a new paradigm. In his first post, James discussed the kinds of close relationships boys, girls, women, and men are able to develop within and between groups. In a follow-up post, he responded to some of the comments on the first post, with recommendations for ways that local congregations can make positive changes toward greater gender equality.

Mormon Women in Pants Face Backlash, Ryan Murphy's Glee Still Hates Women, Seattle Makes Marriage Progress, and More: While We Weren't Blogging

Apparently the world does not stop spinning out sexism just because Erica, Rachel and I are busy. Go figure.

Here's a quick, quick run-down of some recent gendered happenings:

1. Washington state offers marriage rights (and rites) to same-sex couples, leading to a teary-eyed string of lovely photos. I know some of our readers still oppose same-sex marriage, which I take as a good sign about how inclusive our blog can be: there is no litmus test to join the conversation. But I hope even readers who don't support Seattle's policy still appreciate the loveliness of the personal moments in these photos from this week's Seattle weddings.

2. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints launches an official website to address the church's stance on homosexuality. The website has received mixed responses. Pro-gay-rights Mormons see it as great progress that The Church is now officially stating that homosexuality is not a choice, though the website still maintains that acting on homosexuality is a sin. I'm choosing to look on the bright side by focusing on how this website will hopefully encourage more Mormons to be truly loving to others, no matter sexual orientation. For an audience outside the Mormon church, the website is unlikely to do much, but liberal Mormons like me are really anxious to see more positive relations between our church and the gay rights movement... down the road. Down, down, down the road.

3. Glee runs a plot point about a character who develops bulimia, and in the process the show's creator, Ryan Murphy, reveals just how misogynistic he truly is. I'll be following up later with a post that will also go up on emBody. For now here's the gist: the show portrays bulimia as something a character develops as a result of another female student tricking her. In the process of her deciding to lose weight, no characters ever recommend that she consult with a doctor, nutritionist, or guidance counselor (or even a scale). When her bulimia leads her to pass out during a performance, other characters blame her for losing the competition, and AGAIN nobody recommends she seek help. Where is Emma Pillsbury (school guidance counselor) when she's needed? The character even winds up apologizing to everyone and stating that her bulimia was the result of her being "naive and selfish." And nobody, not even adults who should know better, contradict her. Like I said, it's a post worth careful discussion. Not only is Glee misrepresenting a serious disease - they're also trivializing the issue and blaming the very people who are most likely to unfairly blame themselves.

4. And meanwhile, the Mormon blogosphere/ facebook world is engaged in a pants war. A war that none of us who got involved early in this process expected to blow up like this. Don't know what I'm talking about? Well, you're probably lucky, because things have turned nasty. Some context: like many churches, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints encourages members to wear their best clothing to Sunday services in order to express respect and reverence as they worship. While the Church has no official stance on what "best clothing" does or should mean, in the US Mormons have developed a culture where that means men wearing suits with white dress shirts and women wearing dresses or skirts.

I've been known to complain about this tradition of gendered clothing, mostly because Mormon meeting houses are cold year-round (high AC and low heating) and today's available skirt/dress fashions are much chillier than suits with socks and shoes. Given that men are on average more comfortable at lower temperatures to begin with, putting men in warm clothing and women in chilly clothing is silly to begin with. Is this temperature difference a human rights violation? Of course not! But is it silly to stick with a gender norm that has women shivering even with blankets on their laps, while men are overheated in their suit coats and ties? Heck yeah!

Well, a new group of Mormon feminists decided to start a campaign to build solidarity among Mormon feminists. The goal is to use peaceful and even subtle organized action to work toward gender equality in the church (please note that the term "church" is a very ambiguous term for Mormons that sometimes means official Church leaders and other times means something as ambiguous as Mormon culture). The feminist group's first move? Encourage women to wear pants to church this coming Sunday. Seems simple enough, right? There's no Mormon doctrine or policy against women wearing their best pants to Sunday meetings. Many already do. But the dominant culture pressures women and girls to wear skirts/ dresses.

And so, to quote a little 10 Things I Hate About You profanity: the shit hath hitteth the fan - eth. 

Folks are gettin' maaaaad. I'll let you read about the backlash for yourself, though, because it's giving me a headache. The quotes in that Jezebel article I just linked are sadly, just the tip of the iceberg. People can be real jerks. feminist Mormon housewives responds too. Here's a more positive take.

A Review and An Interview: 'Aung San Suu Kyi: Lady of No Fear

 

To say that Aung San Suu Kyi, political prisoner and General Secretary for the Burmese National League of Democracy is one of the world’s most powerful and inspirational women would not be a stretch. Leaving the safety of England and the care of her family she endured 15 years of house arrest in her non-violent quest for removal of the military junta in power and the instating of democracy in Myanmar. Last week I was lucky enough to attend the 12th Annual Gwangju Film Festival here in South Korea and watch the 2010 documentary, Aung San Suu Kyi: Lady of No Fear. Even luckier was that the director, Anne Gyrithe Bonne, was in attendance and graciously agreed to an interview.

It’s entirely coincidental that my interview with Anne Gyrithe Bonne will be published during the same week that United States President, Barack Obama, will be in Myanmar. While Myanmar’s current leadership has released many of their political prisoners, Myanmar still struggles with human rights violations. The President of Myanmar, Thein Sein, has promised to review all of the current political prisoners and seek their release by the end of the year. Hopefully President Obama’s visit to Myanmar can spur more changes and continue to encourage their transition to a stable and safe country.

The admirable Aung San Suu Kyi, ever mindful of the hard road towards peace, has warned against too early an acceptance of the government’s words, cautioning against their possible motive of appeasement and fearful that the country could slip back into military control with, ‘the mirage of success’ in front of them. Aung San Suu Kyi’s great strength and personal sacrifice in her fight against the government is ongoing and complete, features that are simply displayed in Bonne’s film.

Aung San Suu Kyi: Lady of No Fear naturally covers Aung San Suu Kyi’s infamous periods of house arrest and the personal discipline and mental fortitude she possessed which allowed her to be such a powerful leader and democratic activist. However, the film focuses on Aung San Suu Kyi’s private life, which Bonne would argue is essential to understanding her involvement in the Burmese struggle for democracy. Bonne specifically chose to focus on the astounding relationship between Aung San Suu Kyi and her husband, Michael Aris, since Aris was a major support to Aung San Suu Kyi and similarly held her belief that Burma was everything: more than each other, more than their children. 

Aung San Suu Kyi

What the film does especially well at demonstrating is the incredible mythic power that Aung San Suu Kyi has over the Burmese people. Because of her background as the daughter of the great commander and soldier of independence, Aung San, as well as her renowned public speaking abilities, Aung San Suu Kyi was able to step into her father’s shoes; as one loyal Burmese supporter said of her, “She is not only a fighter, she is a commander.”

I asked Bonne what she felt that Aung San Suu Kyi had given to women of the world, particularly those involved with the issue of human rights and she suggested something very simple: “rebelliousness.” Without this rebelliousness, a rebelliousness founded in the exemplary cause of civil rights and human freedoms, hierarchies cannot fall and ongoing cycles of violence and abuse and repression cannot be removed. One of the most stunning moments of the film came during a clip of an interview Aung San Suu Kyi had given some years ago. In the interview she’s asked about the situation of her communications with the outside world. While she was given permission to write letters to her family, they were all censored by the government; so, incredibly, she refused to send any more letters because she didn’t want to, “communicate through the authorities.” Even completely isolated from her family she refused to give in to the demands of tyranny and authority.

There is a second side to her though; her graceful and poised nature set her apart from other would-be leaders, and even from her college friends. Aung San Suu Kyi was educated at Oxford during the sixties and while other women were exploring the sexual revolution, Aung San Suu Kyi protested that she wanted to be a virgin when she married and that for now she would, “just hug her pillow at night.” In many ways Aung San Suu Kyi never forgot that she was from Burma, even refusing British citizenship as a way to maintain her heritage, for, as she told Michael when they married, “If Burma needs me, I will go.”

This dual-nature she possesses highlights her relationship to Burma: Burma was always her home, but neither was she the government’s puppet, sporting a rebellious streak of her own. A rebellious streak that Bonne believes is demonstrated in her marriage to Michael Aris, who despite his cosmopolitan upbringing, was still an “enemy of Burma” as an Englishman. Aung San Suu Kyi directly went against her mothers wishes, her family’s wishes, and even the wishes of her country by marrying the man she loved: her mother refused to even attend the wedding.

For many years Aung San Suu Kyi stayed in Oxford with her family, giving birth to two children and supporting her husband’s rising career as a Buddhist scholar, a topic that surprisingly Michael actually taught Aung San Suu Kyi about and an interest that the two of them shared. Eventually, Aung San Suu Kyi began to start her own projects, beginning a biography about her father and even applying to graduate school. However, the sudden failing health of her mother in 1988 called her back to Burma, unknowing that she would become its most outspoken and inspiring democratic activist in just a few short months.

In reference to Aung San Suu Kyi’s sudden propulsion into Burmese politics Bonne felt that Aung San Suu Kyi had been seduced by Burma, stating that, “She had been a proper housewife for a long time, ‘ironing Michael’s socks.’ During that time period the world was more about the man; if you wanted to get a Ph.D you couldn’t because you had your children and your house and your husband. Then there was the 8-8-88 revolution and she went to Burma to visit her mother and she was finally elevated. She gave a lot of public speeches, speeches with some say 250,000 thousand people, some say even 500,000 people; she was an amazing public speaker and people loved her.”

But her success would lead to great personal sacrifice, a situation that Bonne outlines in her film. While many are aware that Aung San Suu Kyi was held under house arrest for almost 15 years, some might not be aware that she was allowed to leave if she chose: she just wouldn’t be allowed to return. The conditions for her release were dependent upon her willingness to live in exile from Burma, however, despite her desire to see her family (Aris and her children were refused visa’s into Burma starting in 1995) she knew that she could only be effective if she stayed in Burma. And how could she leave Burma knowing that so many others could not? How could she leave knowing that Burmese people were suffering and political prisoners were being abused? She therefore chose separation from her family rather than abandon her people, a decision that led to criticism against Aung San Suu Kyi, some saying that she had ‘abandoned her children:’ A harsh accusation against any mother. 

Anne Gyrithe Bonne

Yet the interviews featured in the film point out this damaging double standard, a double standard that one of the greatest proponents of democracy and peace of our generation has had to endure. While male human rights activists have had to leave their families in the past, no one accuses them of child abandonment (Nelson Mandela was in prison for 27 years, but no one ever mentions his children). One of Aung San Suu Kyi's friend's from Oxford pointed out, that even the Buddha left his family in to go into the forest and meditate for a while, and yet a woman of self-sacrifice who gave everything for the family that was her country of Burma, still can't be free from the lazy and illogical and damaging double standards that still rule our society.
 

It was the necessity of exposing the information about Aung San Suu Kyi leaving her children in England to serve Burma that was Bonne’s greatest concern about producing this film; “I was afraid of destroying her cause. It was a balancing act to make her story and also be respectful because I was afraid that the general [leader of Burma] and others would see the film and think she’s a bad mother and end up damaging her cause.” However, Bonne continued to make the film, believing it was essential to uncover the story behind the icon, to realize what had nurtured such a strong and effective supporter of democracy and civil rights.

The documentary then walks a delicate line in respectfully baring Aung San Suu Kyi’s unique past, highlighting her political achievements, while also demonstrating Aung San Suu Kyi’s own humanity. In that light, the film focuses more on her personal relationships and features interviews from several of her close friends and family. Interviews that reveal just how much Aung San Suu Kyi sacrificed for the people of Burma after the Burmese government refused to allow Aris to visit his wife, even as he was dying of prostate cancer. Michael died in 1999 in England, unable to say goodbye to his beloved wife.

Despite the tragic circumstances surrounding Aris’s death and the Burmese governments unwillingness to allow him into the country, Bonne believes that Michael’s death served to increase Aung San Suu Kyi’s popularity and power among the Burmese people. When it became known that she had given up everything for them, she became even more beloved and her supporters ever more loyal.

While great attention should obviously be paid to Aung San Suu Kyi’s incredible political triumphs, when asked about what she wanted audiences to take away from the film, Bonne explained that she hopes people see, “That there’s always a story behind the person and then realize what price they had to pay to become that person and who they are.” A tie-in to a beautiful line in the film where Aung San Suu Kyi says, “Nothing is free: if you want something of value you must make payments accordingly.” According to Bonne, Aung San Suu Kyi, “paid a big price.”

The extended version of the film (which I was able to view on Monday night) actually starts at the end of her house arrest, the first few minutes of the film showing footage of Aung San Suu Kyi after her 2010 release. This is unique for many reasons: the documentary was originally released a mere two days before Kyi’s 2010 release. Bonne is humble about this astounding coincidence however, acknowledging that the film certainly, “brought people’s eyes to her.” Obviously the film created a fair amount of exposure about Aung San Suu Kyi’s situation and must have helped to place pressure on the Burmese government. In 2011 the film was selected for the exclusive Berlin ‘Cinema for Peace’ Festival, after which a journalist was finally allowed into Burma to photograph Aung San Suu Kyi.

Bonne’s film exposes Aung San Suu Kyi’s humanity and in so doing has shown the strength and desire for freedom that is possible in leaders and which is fundamentally necessary for the development of human rights in the future. As Aung San Suu Kyi has said, “we must nurture mental strength and support each other,” because it is then that we experience true freedom: “freedom from fear.”

Links of Note

First up, Jon Stewart breaks down the history of anti-immigration racism/ xenophobia that gradually accepts some groups - which groups then turn around and discriminate against new groups.

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
It Was the Best of Times, It Was the Best of Times
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor & Satire Blog The Daily Show on Facebook

And, of course, there's been some post-election hubbub over whom to blame (or thank). While some conservatives have taken this moment to reassess their talking points, others have decided to blame single women for apparently having no moral compass? I'd like to know their take on how the moral compass's of comparable single men compare, seeing as how single women would only need birth control for purely sexual reasons if they're having sex with men. 

In brighter news, a new child's toy called Goldie Blocks is defying the myth that girls simply won't be interested in engineering, by combining story books and invention-building toys that solve problems posed by the book. The even greater news is that the toy also holds the potential to defy myths about boys not wanting to read, by providing an interactive book to help get resistant boys hooked.

Straight Men Opposed to Same-sex Marriage: Gay Men Will Marry Your Girlfriend

Because if our blogging frequency is any indication, we all need something to brighten our day: