James's analogies for either school are arguably over simplification, but I think they're equally so: he suggests that those in favor of same-sex marriage see marriage as a social validation, and denying an entire group access to that validation is therefore unconscionable to activists in this camp. For those opposed to same-sex marriage, however, marriage is seen as some sort of divinely-ordained, "primal magic" union of male and female - it's seen as something that humans don't have control over, and people opposed to same-sex marriage see same-sex couples and marriage as inherently mutually exclusive. To them, asking for same-sex marriage is like asking for the laws of physics to change - that's how deeply this viewpoint tends to delve.
But here's what I realized when I read James's article: my unusual perspective on same-sex marriage stems from my own view of marriage. See, I at once hold both views of marriage - I believe in an ideal of marriage that fits into the primal magic category, but I believe that most marriages on the earth fit into the social validation camp. Or into failed attempts in the primal magic category. Therefore, I support same-sex marriage because I don't believe I have the right to hold others to my ideal of marriage. For me, it's like alcohol - I have personal beliefs against it, and I've never touched the stuff. But I'm not about to make it illegal. Not because I think alcohol is awesome, but because I respect others' agency enough to let them take on the personal choice of whether to drink (and in what quantities). Also, I do on some level hold to the idea that love is love. And if being in a romantic relationship with someone of the same sex makes you happy, I'm happy for you. I don't know how things are gonna pan out in the next life, but I'm happy to let you make your own decisions in the meantime.
Now, I realize that my viewpoint on same-sex marriage is likely to offend people on every side of the issue. Frankly, it's a view that's likely to offend anyone who doesn't agree with me. But I'm starting to realize that it's important for people with unusual perspectives to share them. Because if people like me don't speak up, it just furthers the myth that this debate is entirely polarized. Let's get a multiplicity of views out on the table.
So, tell me - what does marriage mean to you? What is it ideally? What is it in reality? Where do your views come from, and how have they changed?